Grief on Father’s Day

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To be honest, I’m trying to ignore the fact that it’s Father’s Day. I might have forgotten, if it weren’t for social media. ๐Ÿ™ƒ

But that’s OK, because my dad also deserves to be celebrated. Besides, grief is just a side effect of loving someone in heaven, so if I also grieve today, it’s because he was an absolutely wonderful person.

When I think of my dad, I get a rush of pride that he was mine. He was humorous, strong, loving, and with an amazing heart. He was the type of guy that big, burly men (his fellow corrections officers) and inmates alike wept for when he was gone. As in, sobbed as they shook my hand at the calling hours. At the prison, a former inmate approached my family to tell us how my dad gave him hope and treated all the prisoners like humans who could turn their lives around. This man told us my dad was the reason he now worked at the prison, so he could do the same for others. One inmate painted a portrait of him in his honor. Another wrote a sweet letter to our family.

When I think of my dad, I think of his love for historical books and The Hobbit. I think about how he introduced me to Holes–of COURSE he loved that story, it joines fun “history” of the lake with boys getting second chances and humor–and Agatha Christie books. I think about his laugh and his one-of-a-kind smile. How everyone said he was always saying to “Look on the bright side.” I think about his hugs and how safe they made me feel.

OK, I’m totally not crying now. ๐Ÿ™ƒ

If you’re grieving on Father’s Day, for whatever reason: you’re not alone. And if you’re missing someone in heaven, maybe take time to think about everything you love about them. Yes, it hurts, but it also might make them feel a little closer. โค

Mother’s Day Grief

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Happy Mother’s Day! โฃ
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(Maybe.)โฃ
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For some of us, today is hard. It’s not that we don’t know mothers who deserve to be celebrated. (We do, oh, we do! And they deserve it SO, so much.) But today comes with grief. Weird mixed feelings that make it a day where you hold back tears. Maybe you feel bad that while others are celebrating and you feel you should wish them a happy day, you really just want to ignore this day altogether. Curl up into a ball, and sleep it away. Or distract yourself so you can pretend it is any other day. โฃ
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(Me too.)โฃ
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You aren’t alone.โฃ
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So to the women who long to be mothers, but are not able to be: โฃ
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To the women who have lost a child or children: โฃ
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To those who never met their mothers or have complicated relationships with them: โฃ
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To those who have lost their moms: โฃ
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It’s OK if you are not OK today. It’s OK to take time to grieve. It’s OK to hurt.โฃ โฃ
It’s OK,โฃ
it’s OK,โฃ
it’s OK.โฃ
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Much love, from me. May today shower you with unexpected blessings and joy.ย ๐Ÿ’™โฃ